I’ve concluded that Victoria’s Secret is the quintessential “frenemy”: When you’re feeling hot and sexy, it’s always there for you, your BFF (best friend forever). But on days when you feel like a bloated whale carcass, it’s a total backstabber. Depending on my self-view on any given day, I either crave or loathe skimpy, lacy underwear. (Yes, I know, I know ~ “Thanks for sharing.” Sue me. Ha ha.)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
August 6, 2009
Love/Hate
July 6, 2009
Inspiration (A Warm-Fuzzy Post)
June 12, 2009
Official Notice
This space on the Internet is reserved for a member in good standing of the American Association of Sporadic Bloggers.
Please keep area free of encumbrances, obstructions, detritus, flotsam and jetsam. Please do not fold, mutilate, spindle, or in any way interfere with the surface area of this space so that it may be used in its proper, designated manner.
Thank you for your cooperation.
May 31, 2009
a guilty secret
today, i was alone. no one was around for the entire day. no kids. no man. not even a dog or cat. just me and my desire to “experiment” a little.
so i decided to take advantage of this private time to do something, well, a little different. i was furtive and made sure all the doors were locked and the windows shaded before i proceeded.
then ~ i cooked something.
it was only homemade macaroni and cheese, but my whole family is convinced that i can’t cook (and they are right, because of my propensity to start random fires and floods ~ seriously). my A.D.D. does not help matters, so generally anything related to food and heat/appliances/gas/electricity/timing becomes an inevitable recipe not for wholesome home-cooked meals, but for disaster.
once, after one of my seriously lame attempts to provide my family with that whole “made-from-scratch formal dinner around the table” experience, my older son said he was going to have a t-shirt made that said: “i ate my mom’s cooking and lived to tell about it.”
regardless, i am currently enjoying my steaming, fresh, gooey and quite awesome lunch, although it’s not without just a hint of shame that it will be gone before anyone can witness this seldom-seen event ~ like a bigfoot spotting or an alien abduction. it’s a mystery to all who know me: can she, or can’t she?
bottom line, “she won’t.” i’d rather scrub a toilet than prepare food.
but today i was in a mood for something non-microwaved/pre-packaged/overly processed, and being alone for such a long period of time allowed me to engage in such personally deviant behavior without fear of discovery. after all, i have a reputation to uphold! i have avoided cooking for 40 years and i don’t plan to start now.
just don’t tell my kids, my mom or my man, or this carefully-orchestrated scheme to avoid slaving over a hot stove will be exposed. no longer will my family tell me to “just bring chips and dip” to our food-laden family gatherings. no more dinners out because the family is tired of microwave pizza. no more breakfast served in bed. no more excuses.
but for now, as i sneak peeks through the blinds and enjoy my meal in solitude, i have truly become a domestic goddess!
elise~
May 11, 2009
Blog Progress Update: Slow
It’s slow-going as I try to find a theme and do all the technical crap that goes with hosting a blog (it was so much easier on Blogger ~ but WordPress allows for more freedom if you want it). My friend Laurie is assisting me with this process since I’ve forgotten how to do most of this junk. Anyone else who has graphic-design and CSS knowledge and a buttload of patience (I’m a perfectionist known to drive perfectly sane people into therapy) feel free to volunteer your services (you’ll receive the proper credit, of course).
Until then, you’ll have to settle for reading what is probably the ugliest blog in the Blogosphere (unless you check out some of Vincent Flanders’ WebPagesThatSuck ~ just hope you don’t inadvertently run across your own there!).
Encouragement and comments/suggestions are always helpful so feel free to share you words of wisdom (and stupidity, if that’s your thing).
Cheers!
caile~ 
May 9, 2009
Getting Down and Dirty!
Dumpster Diving: Not just for white trash and the homeless anymore!
Well, I’m staying in a rental house in W. Virginia this summer, in the WVU college town of Morgantown (near the PA border). With the mass exodus of students this weekend after the final week of classes, “dumpster diving” has been elevated to the status of “competitive sport” as locals snatch discarded items from curbs and large waste containers (on which are posted the dire warnings: “DO NOT OCCUPY AT ANY TIME.” Okaaay. I’ll scratch that off my “To Do Before I Die” list.).
My guy is new to this “sport” (unlike a southern redneck belle like myself) and has been plundering and pillaging the village like a madman. So far this is our haul:
-8×10′ oriental rug (new condition)
-two bar stools
-rocking chair
-scrolly-looking queen-sized headboard
-2 multifunction printers
-electronic keyboard
-vacuum cleaner (which i disapprove of, it’s dirtier than the damn floor is)
-2 folding deck chairs
-coffee table
-oak vanity/sideboard table
-dining chair
-entertainment center
-dresser
-small tv
-brand new boxing gloves (which i told martin i’d use to punch him in the balls with, just for fun)
-two modems with monitors (which we don’t need)
-brand new deluxe travel backpack
-some misc. other stuff
-a partridge in a pear tree (actually, we didn’t get this one. i lied.)
This is what passes for entertainment in the W. Virginia mountains, my friends. 
Cheers!
May 9, 2009
Yay! A Very Important Poll!
Something to do while you wait for me to finally get my ass in gear and get this blog set up.
Choose four options, and let’s see how close y’all get to the correct answers. After I get at least 25 responses, I’ll post the real answers.
~*~
OK, here are the actual answers:
-Froot Loop
-corn chip
-part of a popsicle
-blob of yogurt
I did once have a baby squirrel in there, but it wasn’t a planned event. My cousin brought it to show me, and when I went to hold it, it climbed into my cleavage and settled in and didn’t really want to come back out. We took a photo but I lost it when my last computer went to the computer cemetery.
So although y’all were lame about taking this poll (which means I won’t make any more, too bad for you), at least you know that any food that happens to miss my mouth ends up in a safe place.
May 2, 2009
Progress Update
Working on my theme now, and hoping to have my header done this weekend, and have a friend helping me with some of the CSS since I’ve forgotten how to do most of it in the year I’ve been offline (use it or lose it!).
However, this blog DOES allude to sloth-like behavior, and therefore you’ll just have to be patient with me.
Despite that, I can’t wait to start actually BLOGGING instead of obsessing over getting the framework in place, but I’m anal-retentive and have to have everything just so before I can move on, it seems. This post is a small concession to at least contribute *something.* In the meantime, I’m getting acquainted with the WordPress interface vs Blogger, which is what I was used to. Cheers!
Moving along at warp speed, relatively speaking.
April 21, 2009
A New Beginning… zzzzz
Okay. I am officially starting from scratch since I accidentally deleted my Blogger version in my attempt to switch to WordPress. (Moral: Make sure you’re fully awake ~ and properly medicated, if necessary ~ before attempting to do anything that could result in the loss of months’ and months’ worth of effort and data.) *Sob!*
Give me a bit of time to get my theme thingy going the way I want it to look and doing all the necessary widget-izing and I’ll be back at it with my more personal accounts of life as I see it. Be afraid.
